Archive for Great Self Improvement Tips
04.27.08
Posted in Great Self Improvement Tips at 11:53 am by admin
What is Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder?
Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder, also referred to as
ADHD and formally called hyperkinesis or minimal brain
dysfunction is a neurologically based syndrome characterized by
any or all of three types of behavior: hyperactivity,
distractibility, and impulsivity.
ADHD is usually diagnosed before age seven. It is often
accompanied by a learning disability. It often create
difficulties in school, at home, or at work.
Not everyone who is overly hyperactive, inattentive, or
impulsive has an attention disorder. People with ADHD are
excessive and have long-term periods of hyperactivity,
inattentiveness and impulsiveness. Eating too much sugar does
not cause hyperactivity. ADHD is due to a chemical imbalance in
the brain.
How is ADHD Diagnosed?
ADHD is a diagnosis applied to children and adults who
consistently display certain characteristic behaviors over a
period of time. The behaviors must be excessive, long-term,
pervasive, a continuous problem, and not occuring in other
people of the same age.
What are the Symptoms?
The most common behaviors fall into three categories:
inattention, hyperactivity, and impulsivity.
Inattentive. Inattentive refers distraction by irrelevant
sights and sounds or carelessness and inability to carry simple
tasks to completion. People who are inattentive have a hard time
keeping their mind on one thing and may get bored with a task
after only a few minutes. They may give effortless, automatic
attention to activities and things they enjoy. Focusing
deliberate, conscious attention to organizing and completing a
task or learning something new is often difficult.
Some signs of inattention are:becoming easily distracted by
irrelevant sights and sounds.
Failing to pay attention to details and making careless mistakes
rarely following instructions carefully and completely losing or
forgetting things like toys, or pencils, books, and tools needed
for a task.
Feeling restless, often fidgeting with hands or feet, or
squirming running, climbing, or leaving a seat, in situations
where sitting or quiet behavior is expected blurting out answers
before hearing the whole question and having difficulty waiting
in line or for a turn hyperactivity.
Hyperactivity refers to feelings of restlessness, fidgeting, or
inappropriate activity (running, wandering) when one is expected
to be quiet. People who are hyperactive always seem to be in
motion. They can’t sit still. They may dash around or talk
incessantly. Sitting still through a lesson can be an impossible
task. Hyperactive children squirm in their seat or roam around
the room. Or they might wiggle their feet, touch everything, or
noisily tap their pencil.
Hyperactive teens and adults may feel intensely restless. They
may be fidgety or, they may try to do several things at once,
bouncing around from one activity to the next.
Impulsivity. People who are overly impulsive seem unable to curb
their immediate reactions or think before they act. They may
blurt out inappropriate comments. Their impulsivity may make it
hard for them to wait for things they want or to take their turn
in games.
What Causes ADHD?
The exact cause of ADHD is unknown.
How is ADHD Treated?
Treatment usually includes behavioral therapy and emotional
counseling and medication. Two of the most common medications
that are prescribed are: Stimulants and Antidepressants.
Stimulants decrease motor activity and impulsivenss and increase
attention span and concentration. The usual dosage is 2-3 times
a day.
Antidepressants can be used if the patient does not respond to
stimulants. Antidepressants work by decreasing hyperactivity.
Side Effects of Treatment?
Antidepressants and Stimulants may cause headaches, upset
stomach, loss of appetite, tiredness and difficulty sleeping.
Statistics
1 in 4 children with ADHD have a parent who has or has had ADHD
In about 10% of the cases, ADHD can persist into adulthood.
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04.21.08
Posted in Great Self Improvement Tips at 6:56 pm by admin
In Michael Gelb’s book, “How to think like Leonardo da Vinci,” he explores seven concepts that allowed da Vinci to achieve his extraordinary accomplishments.
One of those concepts is called Dimostrazione. Dimostrazione is about learning from our mistakes. It’s about being willing to be right in the moment of an experience, and to challenge long-standing beliefs and opinions in favour of what you’re actually experiencing.
You know you’re truly living in the present moment when you’re lost in what you’re doing, when time passes without you noticing, when you’re in a trance-like state of concentration or when you’re completely immersed in concentration on your task. Does that sound familiar? That’s what most of us experience when we’re in the state of creative flow.
Getting to the point of fully experiencing the present moment is something that takes practice. Usually we’re caught up in our thoughts; worrying, “What is he/she thinking about me?” rewinding, “I blew it, how could I have done that!” or analyzing, “What do I make of this, and how does it fit in with my established beliefs and opinions?”
When we give into our fears and keep our creativity inside, we’re upholding our longstanding beliefs, such as, “I’m no good,” or, “It will be too hard to make it as an artist.” And, by avoiding any experience at all, we can stay comfortable and secure in these beliefs because they’re not being challenged.
However, if we strike out and actually take some steps towards testing those beliefs with real-life experience, we might just prove ourselves wrong. And that might mean stepping further out of our comfort zone to try even scarier things.
So, why do it, then? True fulfillment, transcendental, passionate, exuberant, joyful aliveness - like many of us once experienced with our art form and have been chasing ever since - is only available to us when we give up our tight grip on what we KNOW. We need to open ourselves up to be surprised and amazed by what we don’t know yet.
As creative artists, our work insists that we have the courage to express our own unique thoughts, experiences, and feelings through our chosen art form. We can start out learning from and emulating others, but our work becomes hollow if we don’t find and express OUR true voice. We wouldn’t have the desire to be artists if we didn’t also have something unique to express.
“To think according to appearances is easy; to think truth regardless of appearances is laborious and requires the expenditure of more power than any other work we are called upon to perform” (Wallace Wattles, The Science of Getting Rich, page 13). In the face of advertising, celebrity endorsements, self-help gurus and what we’ve taken from childhood, independent thinking based on what we have actually experienced is a foreign concept. It’s quite possible to float through life never venturing forth an independent thought.
It’s really scary and really admirable to be an independent thinker, to challenge what we’ve always known to be “true.” Much more often we ignore our experiential evidence or avoid experiencing things that have the slightest chance of proving our belief wrong.
We can use the suggestions of others to try out new beliefs - for example, I enjoy challenging my readers to try out some of my new ideas about self-care and creativity. And I hope these provide an alternative to long-standing beliefs that may be harmful or negative for you.
When others have summed up their experiences for us in a concise, meaningful and appealing way, and if they’re able to express the beliefs they’ve formed based on THEIR real-life experience, it can motivate us to try similar things.
But adopting these blindly gets you no further ahead in terms of independent thinking. The most meaningful and long-lasting shifts to behaviour and belief need to occur through the actual experience of benefits, however small.
For example, a self-care change that had a big impact on me was shifting from letting dishes pile up in the sink (cluttering my kitchen, mind, and heart), to doing them more regularly, and eventually after every meal (usually - I’m not perfect, thank God!).
I had to see for myself that keeping up with the dishes daily made me feel better and more productive, and had a huge impact on how I felt in my space. If someone had told me, “do your dishes after every meal - you’ll feel better,” that wouldn’t have had the same impact and I probably wouldn’t have done it anyway.
I had to take the leap and try something different from my habitual behaviour, even though it challenged my beliefs that, “it can wait till tomorrow,” and, “it doesn’t really matter anyway.”
What I tell people in my Everyday Self-Care Workbook and Home Study Program is to look at where they are (take the free version of my self-care quiz at http://www.genuinecoaching.com/esc-quiz.html), look at where they want to get to, and map out small steps they can take to bridge the difference. And I point out that if you’re at a “C” (the lowest scoring point), don’t aim for “A,” aim for “B.”
Wallace Wattles also says, “Do not wait for an opportunity to be all that you want to be. When an opportunity to be more than you are now is presented and you feel impelled toward it, take it. It will be the first step toward a greater opportunity” (The Science of Getting Rich, page 57).
And it will also be a step towards gaining some new experiences, and some new evidence that maybe your long-standing beliefs aren’t what you believe in anymore.
© Linda Dessau, 2006.
Linda Dessau, the Self-Care Coach, helps artists enhance their creativity by addressing their unique self-care issues. Feel like your creativity is blocked? Sign-up for your complimentary copy of the popular e-course, “Roadblocks to Creativity” by visiting http://www.genuinecoaching.com
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04.20.08
Posted in Great Self Improvement Tips at 8:33 pm by admin
Are you content and at inner peace?
Or are you insecure and filled with worry?
Imagine your life with more inner peace. Imagine it as fully as you can. Would you feel better about yourself and your life? Your answer may be a resounding yes, but it’s not always clear how to obtain this inner peace. How do we gain inner peace when things are seemingly not going our way? Many famous saints, sages, prophets and philosophers like Jesus, the Buddha, Mohammed, the Dalai Lama and countless others have all called us to the experience of peace within our selves. Yet few of us have found the treasure they all point to.
DEFINING INNER PEACE
It might help to understand what inner peace is and isn’t. Inner peace is not a state obtained where finally everything about our self, our life, and our world is perfect. Inner peace is not found at the end of a goal. Instead, it is an internal sense of calm in which we receive all life’s experiences. It is the ability to handle situations and conflicts, in life and in ourselves, with acceptance, empathy, and creativity. Inner peace can also be defined as having a calmness and general freedom from anxiety. Inner peace is about connection: to self, to nature (earth), to a higher self, and to others. And in my experience, those connections occur in that order.
If you do not experience inner peace with any aspect of your current life whether it be with your body, occupation, partner, home, etc. you will not have inner peace by merely losing weight, changing your job or partner, or moving. Inner peace doesn’t come from the outside. If you aren’t peaceful with your life situation now, moving may be, at best, a temporary band-aid. There’s an old adage which applies here: “Wherever you go, there you are.”
If you don’t love your body now, you won’t love it later. If you don’t experience joy now, you won’t find it magically waiting for you at the end of your goal. Inner peace isn’t given to you because you’ve worked hard enough, attained your goal, achieved the perfect body, or been a “good” little boy or girl. Inner peace is something you decide that you are worthy of. Not something you must earn. Rather a decision you make because you decide your are deserving. Or you decide you are not deserving, but you will have this inner peace anyway. Doesn’t matter which, just as long as you make the decision. So achieving inner peace has to do with re-discovering the greater truth of who we are. And like it or not, working through emotions and problems is the only path to meaning, fulfillment and spiritual growth.
WHAT IS THE PATH?
There is no one path to inner peace. Despite promises, no one can give you inner peace. The path does not lie outside of you or with another person. Inner peace is a state that we can all experience if we are willing to be with ourselves and give up our self-hatred. Inner peace is gained when we decide that who we are is worthy of being empowered and expressed on earth. Each of us will find inner peace in our own way. It may be achieved as a gift from a higher being, or a strength within ourselves, or through the loving guidance of another who wishes to share a higher state of being. What you search for is inside of you and the journey must be into yourself. And each of us will find our own ways to return to this state of calmness, perfection and strength.
A starting point is to make a decision to allow yourself a quiet place to escape to. It doesn’t have to be a big space. Just some place that is yours alone. Next, set aside some time to go to that place each day. Even if it’s only for a few minutes. Bring your spiritual, personal, and creative energy into the space by adding flowers, rocks, candles, incense, images of your favorite deities, or pictures of loved ones. Personalize it with anything that symbolizes love and peace.
What to do while you are in your sacred space? There is no right or wrong thing to do here. The simple act of creating your own space and allowing time for yourself will create miracles. You may choose to sit quietly with yourself. Accepting relaxation may be the beginnings of self-worth. Listening to your inner thoughts may be the beginnings of self-esteem. Take a few minutes to stop the business of the day. Quiet the chatter of the mind long enough to hear the whispers of the soul. Some people may find the road to inner peace through prayer. You might play around with the letting go of all of your thoughts. Let go of your hopes and desires. Let go of your fears and your perceptions of failure. Let go of everything except the sense of being love and being connected to love. You may wish to connect with Self and Universe, and recognize what is truly important to the individual Self. For others, meditation may hold the key, while still others may find the bridge to inner peace through the process of journaling.
Peace is obtained little by little. Gradually, it becomes a subtle undercurrent that runs through each moment of your life. I do not know who has originally said the following words, but they seem appropriate to end this column:
“Fear knocked at the door.
Faith answered!
No one was there.”
SIGNS OF A GROWING INNER PEACE
Some signs and symptoms of growing Inner Peace:
Choosing to think thoughts that bring inner peace (rather than worry).
Deciding (regularly) to fill the physical body with relaxation and love and fun…
(no matter what the perceived problem or weight or limitation).
Reading and thinking inspiring and empowering thoughts.
Filling life with silence, beautiful music, flowers.
Trusting our own inner self more than anything or anyone outside ourselves.
Choosing to open to creative empowered solutions…
instead of black and white, right or wrong.
Taking back one’s own power…
recognizing that the source of happiness lies inside…
and the cause of one’s problems is inside (not outside).
Recognizing that love is created within…
not something given or taken away by others.
Loving is a state of being.
Remembering & feeling gratitude in all things and situations.
Deciding to relax and enjoy the moment…
even those that are scary, anxious, nervous, etc.
Connecting regularly to self, nature, “God”, and others.
Allowing things to happen
rather than to control and make them happen.
Not as easily pulled into the dramas of those around you,
nor taken into their emotional upheavals.
Balance in the enjoyment of life and the creative activity of life.
Copyright 2005, Dr. Annette Colby, all rights reserved.
Dr. Annette Colby, RD
Nutrition Therapist & Master Energy Healer
Annette@AnnetteColby.com
972.985.8750
“Opening Creative Portals to Success”
For free inspirational newsletter, articles & info visit:
http://www.LovingMiracles.com
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04.14.08
Posted in Great Self Improvement Tips at 5:52 am by admin
I know people in my life who when asked how are things going,
will reply, “I’m living the dream.” Can you say the same? If you
could, what would it mean?
As far back as Sigmund Freud, psychologists have been saying
that there are two major areas in a person’s life—love and
work. When you are “living the dream,” you will be able to say
that you have found satisfying work and are fulfilled in the
relationships you share with the important people in your life.
Now, I ask again, “Are you living the dream?” Let’s talk about
work first. When you wake up in the morning are you filled with
a sense of excitement and anticipation for what your day at work
has in store for you or do you have a sense of dread about what
lies ahead? Of course, these are two opposite ends of the
spectrum and more than likely you fall somewhere in between.
As a parent, I always advised my children to choose a profession
that they love because they will be spending a lot of their time
doing it. I don’t want them to be one of many who hates their
job and dreads going to work every day. That is a terrible
burden to bear.
So, what can you do if you are one of those people?
Have you discovered your definite purpose in life? We were all
placed here on earth with a variety of gifts that will help us
make the world a better place to live. We all have unique
skills, interests and abilities that will add to the good of
mankind and fulfill our own inner desires, as well. What is your
unique, definite purpose?
I believe mine is to help people learn to lead more satisfying
lives and to get along better with the important people in them.
That’s what I do. I love to do it. I am energized when I do it.
And although I generally get paid for the things I do, I love
doing them so much, I would do them for free! This is what I
wish for everyone in the area of work.
Many of us are living the dream but it is someone else’s dream.
Are you working for the “man” without any pay off? What do I
mean by a pay off? Why do you get up and go to work everyday?
What motivates you? If it is only the paycheck, then you are
living someone else’s dream.
Your work should be something that motivates you, gives you
pleasure, provides something valuable to others and is in line
with your definite purpose. If that doesn’t describe your work,
you may want to take some time to reevaluate. You may think you
are too old to change careers now or to go out on your own.
However, in ten, fifteen or twenty years you are still going to
be the same age whether you invest in your own dream or not. So
what’s stopping you?
Now, let’s look at your relationships. What is the state of your
current relationships with the important people in your life? I
suppose I should start with the question: Do you have important
people in your life? Hopefully, the answer to that question is
yes, but if not, there is help available. You can improve your
relationship skills and learn to make new friends and develop
those relationships to their fullest. Everyone needs to have
human contact in order to survive.
Some of us have companionship but we are unhappy in these
relationships. How can you live the dream when you feel
miserable around the people who are supposed to be supporting
and encouraging you? Getting our relationships in order is a
critical task that too many ignore. We look around us and see
lots of other people in unhappy or mediocre relationships and we
tell ourselves that is just the way it is. No one is truly
happy. That is not true.
Creating healthy relationships is a matter of choice. You are
not destined to be in a miserable relationship. Do you remember
what it was like when you first got together? It was more than
chemistry. There was something between you that made you know
each other was special. You can regain that feeling.
Most of us never learn healthy relationship skills. We think it
is something we are just supposed to know how to do but how good
were our teachers? Shouldn’t you learn relationship skills from
someone who has strong relationships and who knows how to
maintain them?
Living the dream is not just for a few select individuals. Every
single one of us is entitled to live our dream. It is possible
and we have a right to be happy and satisfied. Here are some
steps you can take:
1. You must clearly examine whether or not you are happy and
satisfied with your current life’s work and your relationships
with the important people in your life. If you are, then
congratulations are in order and you need to read no further.
2. If you are not satisfied, then you must clearly delineate
what the problems are and the source of your unhappiness.
3. Next, you must identify a solution over which you, yourself,
are in control. That means you must formulate a solution that
doesn’t involve someone else doing something differently. You
know what I mean. “I could be happy if my wife would just cook
dinner every night”. “I would love this job if only the boss
would get off of my case.”
4. If you are unable to think of a solution that is solely up to
you, then daydream about what the perfect job or the perfect
relationship would look like. How would you be, what would you
have and what would you be doing? Assess your interests, skills
and abilities to uncover your definite purpose. What is it you
were destined to do?
5. Once you have your ideal picture in your mind, ask yourself
what is stopping you? What would you have to give up to move in
the direction of your dream? What obstacles do you face? What do
you fear?
6. Now you must formulate a plan that has a reasonable chance of
success. I’m not suggesting that you file for divorce or quit
your job. What I am saying is come up with a plan that will move
you forward in the direction you want to go. You can take small,
baby steps as long as you do something each day that will move
you along the path of living your dream.
7. The final step is to develop the strength to actually take
the action you planned in Step 6. Making a plan is great but it
will never accomplish anything if you don’t take action. Les
Brown tells us, “You don’t have to be great to get started; but
you have to get started to be great.” Do something.
If you are having difficulty with any of these steps, then
perhaps coaching would help you. Coaching provides just the
right balance of support and encouragement with challenge and
accountability. You decide. Do you want to live your dream or
someone else’s?
Permalink
04.09.08
Posted in Great Self Improvement Tips at 2:35 pm by admin
One of the most distressing observations I have made among my social work colleagues, is the overwhelming proclivity on the part of many of us so-called helpers, to lack understanding and sensitivity to the position helpees are in when they agree to accept intervention.
Many of us take “professionalism” out of context and become more of a burden to families than a helping resource. All to often, we believe we are “experts” (a term used rather loosely these days), and therefore know more about what is best for those we are attempting to help, which as far as I am concerned is utterly ridiculous. We want to take individuals out of their dysfunctional world, bring them into our less than perfect world and then drop them like a hot potato. We judge their world as inadequate and we must therefore make it more adequate by imposing our “expertise.” We enter helping relationships with the desire to “fix it” not understanding that we do not have the power to fix; only the helpee has that power.
I believe the best way to help individuals is to positively influence their decision for change; to assist them in getting comfortable with the idea of change and the benefits it may have for their lives. If people buy into the need for change, and we provide the support and tools needed for them to change, change will happen. But, before that can occur, we professionals must become sensitized to what it means for individuals to receive help. It is not a pretty picture.
Let’s take a brief look at what is required for individuals (including us professionals by the way) to accept help.
1) It Is Not Easy To Receive Help - Most people who need help experience mixed feelings. They want help and at the same time are terrified of it. And in many cases, the fear of it is greater than the desire for it. We can understand this better if we look at what demands are placed on the person who needs help:
- There is a recognition that something is wrong with him/her or lacking in their situation which they apparently cannot manage sufficiently themselves. The consequence of this recognition is the lowering of self-esteem.
- They must be willing to tell someone else about their problem.
- They must accord to the Helper at least limited rights to personal information.
- They must be open to change in some way.
2) Commitment to Change is Not Easy - Change means giving up whatever adjustment has been made to their current situation; adjustments that have cost a great deal to make and have become a part of their world and lifestyle. They have developed a comfort zone that they are not readily willing to move out of. Most of us tend to cling to the status quo out of fear. As professionals, we must realize that it is hard for individuals to say good-bye to old ways of thinking and doing things. Keep in mind that to commit to change means committing to the unknown. Their comfort world is where they are accustomed. From our perspective it may be a miserable comfort, but in the helpees world, misery is oftentimes preferred to the unknown.
3) It Is Difficult to Submit to the Influence of a Helper - Many helpees have had bad experiences with helpers. For many people, trying to live more productive lives with the assistance of helpers has only resulted in greater defeat. While a willingness to help is important, it is not enough within itself. Helpers must be prepared to offer the kind of help helpees need.
4) It Is Not Easy to Trust Strangers Enough to be Open With Them -Many people have been deeply hurt by so called helpers: confidence betrayed, taken advantage of, verbally abused, mistreated, dehumanized, humiliated, belittled. I do not care how insufficient an individual may appear, they do not want to be made to “feel” inadequate.
5. It Is Not Easy To See One’s Problem Clearly - Many helpees live complicated lives. There are so many issues they are contending with that often they are unable to pinpoint what their problem is that they desire help with. In social work, what helpees tell us initially is what we call the “presenting problem” We recognize the presenting problem as the surface layer and it is rarely the problem that needs addressing.
6. Sometimes Problems Seem too Overwhelming, or Shameful to Share Easily. Helpees do not want to be perceived in a negative light by the helper and may experience great difficulty in relating areas of their lives in which they feel ashamed and believe they will be judged.
It is not an easy thing to accept help. Yet, for the most part, this tremendous demand made on the person to be helped has gone unrecognized. People who refuse help are still thought of as ungrateful when all they really are is afraid. They are very much afraid of what it will cost them to accept help or to make changes.
Rev. Saundra L. Washington, D.D., is an ordained clergywoman, veteran social worker, and Founder of AMEN Ministries. She is also the author of two coffee table books: Room Beneath the Snow: Poems that Preach and Negative Disturbances: Homilies that Teach which can be reviewed on her site. Her new book, Out of Deep Waters: My Grief Management Workbook, is expected to be available in July.
You are welcome to visit AMEN Ministries: Your Souls’ service Station for spiritual refreshing, soul edification or to browse our newly expanded mini shopping mall. http://www.clergyservices4u.org
Blessings to all!
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04.05.08
Posted in Great Self Improvement Tips at 1:34 am by admin
Whether you are single and looking for a soul mate or happily married to your soul mate, I hope this article will be of help to you in your Feng Shui practice!
There are several different areas in your home that you can activate in order to improve relationships in this area. The first and most important is the Southwest sector of your home. You may also want to do some decorative enhancements in your bedroom - particularly in the Southwest corner of that room. The living room is also another place that you can activate. And last, but certainly not least - get a “double dip” by making sure the Romance Sector of your personal KUA number is covered as well.
Clear the Clutter. I can’t say this enough…. The first thing that you need to make sure of is that there is no clutter in this area. Remember, clutter is said to block the flow of positive chi, which we definitely do not want to happen in an area as important as this! A stagnated love life leads to unhappiness and possibly divorce - so make sure you have the clutter cleared in this area!
Choose Your Colors Wisely. The element for the Southwest is Big Earth, so it is important that the colors in this area reflect that element. Earth element colors are beige and yellow. You may also use pink and red in this area as well to spice it up a bit! Be careful not to use metal or wood colors in this sector - such as metallic, gold, silver, green or brown. If you do, use them sparingly and make sure that the item you are using has to do with romance if at all possible.
Object Placement in the Southwest Sector. It is important what pictures and objects that you have in this sector as they are said to directly influence your love life. If you have a lot of word or metal tems in this area, move them to a different sector such as the Northwest or West. In this area, try to stay with ceramic items as much as possible.
Here are some ideas of items that you can place in this area that represent Romance and/or the Earth Element.
One of the best items you can have in this area would be a depiction of a phoenix and dragon which are considered the celestial couple - able to overcome all odds together with their strength. They represent Yin and Yang - a perfect balance of harmony.
Display the double happiness symbol in the Southwest of your home, bedroom or living room. Double happiness jewel boxes are great here - just put a small photo of you and your loved one, a ring, a piece of jewelry or anything that symbolizes love in this beautiful box - or leave it empty if you wish.
Red, pink and/or white heart shaped candles are good in this area. You don’t necessarily have to burn the candles - just display them. Aromatherapy can also play a vital part in dispersing negative chi in this area.
Also, you may want to display a pink or red heart shaped crystal here as well. Try to find a painting or a photo of a romantic couple to place in this area. And don’t forget - if you are married - how about a wedding picture or an engagement photo here? If you kept the bride/groom figurine that may have been on top of your wedding cake you can use this too. You may also want to display your bridal bouquet in a plastic case here as well. Don’t box this stuff up and put it in the back of a closet somewhere - DISPLAY these symbols of your love where all can see!
Red or pink roses are also perfect for this area. You may use real ones or silk ones. I like silk because they last forever!
Lovebirds or Mandarin Ducks are said to mate for life - and are perfect relationship enhancers for this area.
If you are a lover of ceramics, the Southwest is a great place to display anything in twos. For example - two dogs or cats playing or in a loving stance - two elephants together - two of any animal representing a male and female relationship is great! Be very careful that you do not use things that have three in them as that can represent someone coming between you and your loved one.
Kwan Yin is representative of unconditional love and bodes well in the Romance Sector. After all, isn’t that what love is all about? Unconditional? How perfect a relationship can be when you each love one another despite each other’s faults and shortcomings!
Judy Gunderson is a Feng Shui practitioner and has helped many clients over the years with consultations and supplying them with Feng Shui products on her website at http://learnaboutfengshui.com
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04.01.08
Posted in Great Self Improvement Tips at 12:45 pm by admin
Coaching is perhaps the most effective method of increasing performance available to managers, team leaders, and colleagues. This article defines coaching and outlines a process for effective coaching.
Coaching Defined
Coaching is perhaps the most effective method of increasing performance available to managers, team leaders, and colleagues.
If you wish to improve the skills of your employees, you must plan to observe them and provide them with feedback. If you’re like most supervisors or managers, you have limited time and are looking for employees to become proficient - and independent - faster.
Entelechy’s Coaching Model is designed to help you do just that!
The Coaching Model is appropriate for developing the skills of employees if the employee is willing to improve. Coaching should not be used as a softer, gentler version of corrective action; if a performance problem occurs, you will want to use the Problem Solving model.
The Coaching Model is based on several important principles:
1. There are two primary goals to coaching:
• To improve performance.
• To help employees gain the ability to self-assess.
2. It is important that the coaching sessions follow a predictable process. This will help the coachees feel more comfortable and relaxed, which will help to ensure they actively participate in these sessions. It is for this reason that we suggest that you share the coaching model with your employees prior to coaching.
3. Coaching is a planned development process and should not be a surprise.
4. The way you open the conversation sets the tone for what will follow.
5. After we open the conversation using our initial probe, we discuss positives first and areas for improvement last. Beginning with positives first is motivational and accomplishes the following:
• The goal is to have employees increase their performance. If they are not in a positive frame of mind, they will not be open to this change.
• Reinforces good behavior and ease into the coaching session.
• Builds self-esteem.
6. Ending the coaching session with a discussion of areas for development ensures that they are focusing on those areas.
7. Always give the coachee a chance to self-assess before you offer your insights. Encouraging self-assessment is positive for several reasons:
• It encourages improvement even when you are not coaching.
• It allows you to determine why the employee may not be performing as desired; they may not know that they’re doing something incorrectly.
• It builds self-esteem.
• It increases the chances that behavior will change.
8. Reinforce correct self-assessment.
9. Defer or redirect inappropriate or incorrect self-assessment.
10. We focus coaching on only two strengths and two areas for development. Limiting the discussion is important and accomplishes the following:
• Increases the coachee’s ability to reach proficiency.
• Focuses on the most important issues.
• Other issues can be addressed after some progress has been made on the most important issues first.
11. If an employee is not identifying areas that you identified (or has identified them incorrectly), use increasingly specific questions to allow the employee to self-assess if possible. This allows you to determine if the employee doesn’t know what’s expected, doesn’t have the skill, or simply chooses not to demonstrate the skill.
The Coaching Model at Work
Now let’s turn our attention to Entelechy’s Coaching Model in practice.
Step 1: Open the Conversation
The coach opens the conversation with a general question; this helps the coach get a sense for the accuracy of the coachee’s self-assessment. If the coachee responds with, “that was the best call ever” and you thought that the call was poor, you know that you’ll have to adjust your coaching conversation.
Step 2: Probe for What Went Well
The coach asks the coachee what went particularly well and listens for the responses. By identifying what went well first, a positive tone for the coaching session is set. We want to make sure that the coachee continues doing these things. This also forces the coachee NOT THE COACH to identify superior performance.
Step 2a: Redirect or Defer
Sometimes the coachee will bring up a negative when you’re discussing positives. You will want to defer that discussion until later in the coaching conversation by saying, “I’d like to talk about that more later. What else went particularly well?”
Other times, the coachee will claim something as a positive that in your opinion was an area that needs development. You will want to redirect their perception by pointing out what you saw that helped you conclude that it was less than desirable. “Oh, really? Did you happen to see John’s face when you discussed the product’s features? That’s right, he seemed to lose interest when you started talking about us rather than about him….”
Step 2b: Support and Build
When the coachee correctly assesses his performance both strengths and areas for development support the assessment by saying, “I agree.” Build from their conclusions to reinforce the accuracy of their self-assessment. In this way, you are reinforcing one of the most valuable skills anyone can acquire: the ability to assess and improve their own performance.
Step 3: Probe for Areas for Development
The third step is to ask the coachee what he would change if he could do it again. Obviously, if the coachee knows what could be improved and knows how to improve it, he won’t benefit from YOU telling him! And by mentally rehearsing what he will do differently, the likelihood of him actually carrying out the improvement is increased.
Most experts agree that two or three areas for development are enough for anyone to work on. Working on a laundry list of things to change is frustrating and futile. Focus on the areas of greatest need.
When identifying areas for development, the coachee may not have identified the one that you thought was most important. Again, you can redirect their perception by identifying what you saw that they might not have that allowed you to come to your conclusion. “I agree that the two areas that you identified would definitely had made the call go better. What do you think the effect of your product feature presentation was on the customer? Why? What might you do differently the next time…?”
Step 4: Summarize and Support
Even though you may have limited the coaching to a few strengths and a couple areas for development, you will want to briefly summarize the discussion, especially what the coachee will do differently the next time. This recap will cause the most important things to remain fresh in memory. You will also want to support the changes by saying something like, “I think those changes will make your next call go even better.”
Follow these four steps to help your employees and colleagues increase their performance. In the next issue we discuss how to give feedback within the coaching framework.
(This information comes from Coaching for Performance, a module in Entelechy’s High Performance Management program. Check out this module as well as our 40 other modules, training tools, and eGuides at www.unlockit.com.)
Terence R. Traut is the president of Entelechy, Inc., a company that helps organizations unlock the potential of their people through customized training programs in the areas of sales, management, customer service, and training. Terence can be reached at 603-424-1237 or ttraut@unlockit.com.
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03.30.08
Posted in Great Self Improvement Tips at 1:48 am by admin
Dear friends the current study shows that there are more
than 50,000,000 registered domain names on the Internet
(approx.)(Reference http://www.whois.sc/internet-statistics/)
Even if we eliminate 30% non-commercial sites we are left with
35,000,000 sites. All these are trying to sell everything
from safety pins to space ships.
This clearly states the current state of the commercial
Internet, which is full of competition. So how
do you survive in this tough competition? There is a
common saying that in nature “survival of the fittest”
works as a rule.
Now it is time to reconsider this definition of being
“fit”. Let’s look at it this way. Internet is a place
where people have started looking for “solutions” rather
than mere information. All sorts of products in the form
of eBooks, CD’s, white papers, journals are available
as “instant downloads” in a few minutes.
The product categories range from solving personal problems
such as relationships, dating, health issues etc, Business
solutions, hobbies, travel.
But real problem is how YOU can tap into this huge market
and become financially secure?
The answer is creativity. Creativity is what makes things
easy. But unfortunately many people think that creative
thinking is as hard as climbing “Mount Everest”.
But here is good news. Recent study in psychology shows
that creativity is a habit just like all other habits.
Just look at yourself how easily you can walk, talk, laugh,
run, cry, hold thing with your hands, write, read…How?
because these have become a habit by now.
Same is true with creativity. When you tech your mind to
think creatively what you get is an attitude which will
never settle for cheap quality work.
It is far more better working creatively for 15 minutes daily
than wasting 4 hours creating cheap quality work. But
how do you develop a creative mind?
I will show you an example here to make it clear. Let’s select
a theme and expand it. I select “Photography” as a theme.
When I read the word “photography” I instantly remember
following words.
“Digital photography, cameras, camera lenses, photography
films, various equipments, learning photography, locations,
lighting effects, outdoor vs. indoor phitography, nature,
nude, wild life, sports, close-ups, industrial photography,
special effects, use of computers , and much more…”
Here you will see that I have expanded the word “photography”
in the form of “keywords” which any search engine will
recognize. So finding information on these topics for
research becomes much easier now and saves time. Each of the
particular keyword above can be again expanded to form
an entire ebook or info-product.
On top of this, keyword research tools on the Internet can
be used very effectively. Some of these tools are available at
Overture.com, wordtracker.info, altavista.com (prisma)
Next you can compare the list you have generated with the list
which these online tools generate. Minor editing will give you
a final list of topics to be converted into an info-product.
Once you get this habit of fractionating any given topic into
“keywords” many new streams of ideas emerge, which can be
used as raw material for further study. Analyzing any theme
in this way will definitely give rise to alternative ways
of presenting the same information in various forms.
What does this mean?
When you are ready with the final bunch of chapters, you can
convert that in an eBook, CD, an entire website, a free
eCourse sent via autoresponder, each chapter can be individually
treated as an article etc. Just fine-tune your lessons
for your own product or someone else’s product if you are
an affiliate and you can earn money with this.
That’s enough for now. I hope this help as a starting point
to start generating ideas for info-products.
Copyright Shrinivas Vaidya
Finally here is an eBook “Creative Product Creation” which
shows you in many different ways, how to generate ideas for
a best-seller info-product in 30 minutes flat. Grab your own
copy for an introductory low price TODAY. Visit
http://www.myfriendlyebooks.com/Product01/Creative.htm
for more information.
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